Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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