Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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