I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I need a beard to bite.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
