You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
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I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
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It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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