hotel room ftw
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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