dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
