dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
