dude i'm inner monologue high
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So many bounce houses so little time
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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