please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
