I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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