We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
