Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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