you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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