How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize