so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize