When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
