I just made out with a guy for $7.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
