office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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