Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
nutella sex= disaster
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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