Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
They are going to name an STD after you.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
