Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
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When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
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I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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