I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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