it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
