i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
two words: eviction party
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
