I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
