If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
