Plan B is the new Plan A
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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