so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
