I'm going to jail i love you
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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