Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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