Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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