dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
