The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
