I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
