Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
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