If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
now i know why i became what i already was.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
you never un-have a 4some
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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