I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
