No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
