Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
