u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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