just survived the first fart of the relationship.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
