this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i believe in u and ur pee
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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