before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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