If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
