i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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