i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize