i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
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i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
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Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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