yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.