I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?