Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
