i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
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I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
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When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.