Texts From Last Night

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  (613): View more from Ontario

  i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.

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  (613): i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice. http://tfl.nu/jk56
  Replies (29) Good night (5871) Bad night (1459)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.

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  (250): Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for. http://tfl.nu/ra5n
  Replies (10) Good night (4064) Bad night (757)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me

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  (978): There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me http://tfl.nu/i0wj
  Replies (8) Good night (2838) Bad night (849)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird

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  (312): I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird http://tfl.nu/vra1
  Replies (3) Good night (1399) Bad night (606)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp

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  (410): just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp http://tfl.nu/2fc3
  Replies (4) Good night (793) Bad night (1631)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.

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  (205): Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it. http://tfl.nu/qoct
  Replies (15) Good night (2388) Bad night (709)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.

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  (361): Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again. http://tfl.nu/uwik
  Replies (4) Good night (1417) Bad night (637)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.

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  (570): I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo. http://tfl.nu/a7p8
  Replies (3) Good night (1217) Bad night (693)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time

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  (816): Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time http://tfl.nu/d70u
  Replies (8) Good night (1369) Bad night (504)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"

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  (478): It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT" http://tfl.nu/0wpw
  Replies (5) Good night (751) Bad night (1802)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...

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  (910): Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history... http://tfl.nu/c2a0
  Replies (2) Good night (841) Bad night (476)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.

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  (937): They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed. http://tfl.nu/xvv6
  Replies (16) Good night (1092) Bad night (418)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.

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  (570): It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk. http://tfl.nu/rmsw
  Replies (4) Good night (663) Bad night (439)
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  (315): View more from New York

  In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?

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  (315): In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise? http://tfl.nu/go2f
  Replies (3) Good night (295) Bad night (440)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.

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  (617): Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned. http://tfl.nu/urtx
  Replies (0) Good night (490) Bad night (253)

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