Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You can't wash away shame.

(1-781): View more from Massachusetts

I can try.

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(210): View more from Texas

It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently

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(623): View more from Arizona

she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(202): View more from Washington, DC

incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked

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(404): View more from Georgia

hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no

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