Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.

  (1-646): View more from New York

  what. the. fuck.

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  (646): Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now. (1-646): what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/rzew
  Replies (55) Good night (5582) Bad night (885)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases

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  (702): if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases http://tfl.nu/a7z7
  Replies (13) Good night (680) Bad night (2832)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick

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  (706): im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick http://tfl.nu/2n7z
  Replies (19) Good night (1012) Bad night (3305)
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  (949): View more from California

  I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage

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  (949): I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage http://tfl.nu/tvaz
  Replies (45) Good night (3831) Bad night (709)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her

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  (608): Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her http://tfl.nu/en5u
  Replies (48) Good night (2611) Bad night (3276)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.

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  (734): she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help. http://tfl.nu/iorj
  Replies (29) Good night (1401) Bad night (5075)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"

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  (515): I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson" http://tfl.nu/itij
  Replies (11) Good night (7620) Bad night (965)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again

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  (226): Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again http://tfl.nu/v9b0
  Replies (5) Good night (1780) Bad night (3136)
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  (408): View more from California

  his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out

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  (408): his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out http://tfl.nu/n59r
  Replies (10) Good night (909) Bad night (4133)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan

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  (404): I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan http://tfl.nu/xldl
  Replies (14) Good night (5319) Bad night (1361)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?

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  (513): so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned? http://tfl.nu/1jvr
  Replies (5) Good night (1555) Bad night (1776)
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  (212): View more from New York

  There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.

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  (212): There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'. http://tfl.nu/wlcp
  Replies (21) Good night (1445) Bad night (2654)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.

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  (806): We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers. http://tfl.nu/r7l6
  Replies (16) Good night (2594) Bad night (706)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.

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  (219): Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine. http://tfl.nu/fc29
  Replies (6) Good night (3678) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (458): View more from Oregon

  And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.

  (458): View more from Oregon

  Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.

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  (458): And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him. (458): Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man. http://tfl.nu/z269
  Replies (3) Good night (846) Bad night (247)

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