Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
