Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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