Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
