She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize