theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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