She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.