Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.