She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work