So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
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Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
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I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist