I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
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Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
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I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life