Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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