I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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