miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
