btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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