it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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